Blank Space: The Problem with Taking Dating too Casually


Blank Space is the title of Taylor Swift's latest single.  For the first few weeks after it was released, I blared it on my radio.  It was my jam.  But the more I started paying attention to the lyrics of the song, the more I realized that Tay Tay's song portrays what is wrong with modern day casual dating. The song pays tribute to a litany of trainwreck relationships and presents love as a game we play, in which the players inevitably always get hurt.  It highlights the fact that oftentimes we begin relationships on false pretenses with people we only know superficially.  The players appear as a daydream in the initial stages of the relationship, but are soon exposed as the true nightmares they really are.  The relationship itself appears to be a rose garden, until one by one the thorns are uncovered.

Our casual attitude towards dating is summed up in this one line: "I got a blank space baby and I'll write your name."

Interesting fact about me.  I have never dated anyone.  Although there have certainly been guys I have liked and guys that have liked me, for whatever reason the stars never aligned and circumstances never led to a relationship.  Alot of it has to do with my approach to relationships.  I don't take it casually.    I have never allowed myself to become too interested or emotionally invested in someone I didn't think I could trust.  I feel I need to really know a person, before I even allow my brain to go there.  Does this person respect me and other females in their lives? What are their values?  What are they passionate about?  Is this the kind of person I could see myself marrying someday?  Getting to know these kinds of things about a person takes time, which is why I strongly encourage friendships with members of the opposite sex before rushing into premature dating relationships.  You can weed out alot of wrong choices that way.

I have certainly made my mistakes when it comes to interacting with guys.  There have been times I misjudged situations and invested too much of my heart.  There are other times when I have been too guarded and have needed to be more open.  It's a balance.  But there is an important principle at work here.

Your heart is not a blank page to be written on all over by people that were never worth your energy or time to begin with.  Your heart is a treasure to be cherished and protected.  It says in Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life."  Although it is God who ultimately watches over our hearts, we need to show some care as to whose hands we are willing to put our hearts into.

I don't subscribe to the view that says my relationship history needs to be a long list of ex-lovers and nasty scars.  Using a little wisdom and discernment goes along way in relationships.  Having standards is not a bad thing.  At the end of the day, the right person will always be worth the wait.