New Means Being Brave

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A little over a year ago, I had a dream that caught my attention.  I dreamt that I was on a school bus with a group of young adults.  I had a workbook with me that I stored on an overhead shelf.  It was a theological workbook and it was heavy, difficult and intense.  As we were on our travels, I discovered my workbook was stolen.  We arrived at the school and I was very much upset.  Upon entering, I realized it was an elementary school.  I pulled aside a teacher to let her know my workbook was stolen.  I made my way over to my desk and noticed that a gift had been left for me.  It was a children’s story book.  The note written as an inscription read, “Theresa, take the day off and enjoy!”

Fast forward a year later to the land of real life… this week I began my journey as a student of Firehouse School of Supernatural Ministry.  I was encouraged several times to apply by other students, as well as the school leaders and founder, a dear friend gifted me the deposit money and the door essentially flew open before me.  To be honest, my decision to finally apply was driven by a compulsion to just do something!  I needed to do something to shake myself out of my complacency, my despair, and my tendency to overanalyze and replay my own circumstances like a broken record over and over in my mind. I wanted to get around people who reminded me of the real me, the girl I knew who was still inside who had passion, God dreams and fire deep within.  I needed new.  I need different.  I just needed to make a move.  I wrote in my application that after a series of unfortunate events, I was praying to step into the part two of my testimony.  You know what I mean?  Every testimony is broken into two basic parts that are separated by the two words “but then…”  I needed a dramatic “but then” intervention in my story line that would usher me into the purposes and suddenlies of God in my life.  So I applied and I was accepted.

As I sat in my orientation this week, I heard them announce that the theme for the year would be “Back to Kindergarten,” a return to discovering God’s glory in the basics.  As a gift, they gave us each a children’s story book.  Suddenly, the dream I had a year ago played out in my mind.  Whoa!  At the time I had that dream God spoke to me of his rest, along with childlike wonder and faith.  It was impactful and powerful.   But I never could have anticipated this simple dream would point to this very moment in my life.

And suddenly I realized that despite my heartache, my failures, and my missteps, God had brought me right to the place He intended me to be all along.  Zechariah 4:6 comes to mind.  “Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit says the Lord.”  Once again, God did for me what I could not do for myself.

So I embark on a new journey and a new beginning.  I’ll be the first to admit that new does not always mean easy.  New is hard.  If it wasn’t I don’t think that God would have to remind us not to look back all the time.  New means getting used to a different life filled with unfamiliar people, places and moments.  New means feeling oddly uncomfortable, when you’re used to ease and familiarity.  It means giving yourself time to learn and to grow and it means giving others a chance to become just as important to you, as the people and places that are left in seasons past.  It requires being brave enough to keep showing up and to keep believing that the best is always yet to come.

So here’s to new.  Here’s to change. And here’s to the God who makes us new in the process.

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. (Isa. 43:18-19)

Theresa Flood