This year has been full of transitions for me. In a very short amount of time, my brother passed away, I moved back home and in June I'm getting married! In the midst of all these changes, I've noticed some heart issues cropping up here and there. Certain fears, insecurities and matters of identity have come into play, as I think ahead to the next season. It has been a bit overwhelming at times to sift through the barrage of questions my heart tosses at me on a day to day basis.
One day recently, my fiancé and I were talking about our quiet times with God. We were asking ourselves the question...when we seek God, what are we seeking Him for? Do we go to Him simply to be in His presence? Simply for the sake of knowing Him? Or do we often come before Him only to ask Him to bless this or that area of our lives? I have to be honest that in the midst of such a hectic season with so much going on, I have been guilty of seeking Him just to help me keep my head on straight. Lord, help my family through this loss. Jesus, help me to be a good wife! Lord, please provide for this and that....the list goes on and on. Not too often have I just sat still before Him, just to lean into Him and let Him wrap His arms around me.
As I was reflecting on this, I realized that there are certain times that I spend with my loved ones that are really busy. We can rush from store to store and place to place and although I might have spent the whole day with them, it doesn't mean that I feel connected with them. I realized that must be how God feels at times. We can rush around doing everything "for God." We can do ministry and good deeds and read X amount of chapters in that new book we purchased. But if we never stop to be still and merely enjoy His presence, it doesn't mean we have actually connected.
With this thought in mind, the other day I took off and went to the beach, a place I go to often in the warmer months to get alone and be with God. I took my journal and began to write down a list of things that were weighing on my mind. I sat before God with pen and paper in hand and got quiet before Him. With just me, God and the ocean in that space, I heard the Father tell me He loves me. That one simple statement sufficiently addressed every item on that list. This is the love that I so desperately need and that I seek.
Get still before the Lord today and let Him sing a love song over you.
For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty Savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With His love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. (Zep. 3:17)