Lately, I have been reflecting on my sense of worth and where it comes from. When I first started my blog, I wrote a similar post entitled, “Not Enough.” Since then, I feel God has continued to speak to me, bringing me to deeper levels of wisdom and understanding about the topic.
I think everyone is born with an innate desire to be picked to do something of importance, to be someone of importance. We desire to be chosen out from among the crowd. We want to be someone’s first choice. We long to be seen, to be known and to be loved for who we are, even with all of our flaws and imperfections. We want to know that we are worth sticking around for.
I think everyone has been let down, at some point or another, in this regard. We all know what it feels like to be passed over and overlooked. We have all encountered people who have caused us to question our worth and our significance. We have stood in the crowd while others around us got picked. We know what it’s like to be the plan b, to be kept around as an option, but never get chosen. We have all faced the fear that if we were truly seen and truly known, we would remain unloved and nobody would stick around. I know this all seems a little depressing, but haven’t we all faced these emotions before?
I would be lying if I said that from time to time, those ugly thoughts did not pop into my mind. The difference between now and other times of my life is that I am learning to shut those bad boys down, before they have any opportunity to wreck havoc on my heart and my mind. The truth is that your worth, my worth, comes from God and God alone. If we allow our sense of value and significance to come from people, we will earn ourselves a permanent front row seat on an unending emotional rollercoaster. People’s feelings towards you and opinions of you can change by the day. What people think of us is most often based on factors that are conditional. A person’s attitude towards you can vary depending on what kind of day they are having or what kind of day you are having! It can be dependent on circumstances that are also subject to change. To allow our sense of worth to be controlled by people or circumstances is to place an important piece of our identity into things that are unsteady and unstable. No wonder why so many of us struggle with insecurity!
The truth is that each one of us has a God given identity and purpose. God does not see us in light of our imperfections, our circumstances, or our present state of being. Rather, God sees us in light of the identity and purpose that He pre-ordained for us, before we were ever born! God is revealing to me that He is using each day that I live, each step that I take, and even each failure and mistake to mold me and to shape me into my true identity. His hammer and chisel have been present in every stage of the journey, preparing me for my calling and the future he has planned for me. If I were to travel back in time, my high school self would not recognize me. I am not the same girl I was then. Ten years from now, I don’t believe I’ll be the same person I am today. God is continually doing a work in my life.
Hebrews 13:8 tells us that “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” God has made me in His image. He has given me a true identity that never changes. I get closer and closer to finding my true self, as I go deeper and deeper in Him. As it says in Colossians 3:3, “Your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” Notice the word “hidden”…Our identity will not be made plain, until we start searching out who Christ is.
There will be times in life that we face rejection and hurt at the hands of others. We live in a fallen world. Some of this we can avoid by making wise choices, but some of it we will not be able to avoid. What we can control is the lessons we choose to learn from these types of experiences. I will admit that in the past, I have allowed the enemy to use these types of scenarios to deceive me and to teach me false truths. At times, I have allowed circumstances to teach me that I am not good enough, that I am unlovable and that I am not worth sticking around for. These were always lies. What God has taught me since is that I can put my full trust and confidence in His love for me. I am enough for Him. His love for me is perfect and everlasting. And that He will always stick around.